So, for some reason, I've had my heart absolutely stomped on, not just once, but twice, in the last month. Which leads me to the question, how much is too much? Or how much isn't enough? On one hand, I have J. J tells me he loves me, and I tell him that I need some time before I could possibly be able to say it, since you know, I just came out of a really rough 5 year relationship. He tells me he understands, he's been there, blah blah blah. Two days later, I cease to hear from him, and his roommate's boyfriend makes some shitty comment to me at the bar last Tuesday. Okay. Wtfever. I can deal, you know?
Then there's the other one. The one man in my life who I can never say no to, especially when we keep coming back around to each other. We have this long, alcohol-fueled conversation on Friday night, and everything goes great the entire time I'm with him. And now? I haven't heard a single word from him since then.
I JUST CAN'T WIN.
Ergh.
So yesterday I went to the hospital, to see my Gramps, and oh dear God, it was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I was at such a loss when I first saw him, and bawled when we left. He hardly knew who I was. And I'm the oldest of his grandkids. I gave birth to his only great-granddaughter. It was rough.
Agh.
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